Three Pitfalls of London’s Dating Economy

London has a dating scene like no other. Working full time as a dating coach and writer I should know. I spend my days helping others to find true love (or at the very least a sexy stranger) and my nights going on roughly two dates an evening in the search of my own happily ever after.

Believe me I’ve kissed (and thought I was destined to be together with) A LOT of frogs. So men and women of London, to save you the frustration, here are my top three pitfalls to watch out for whilst being on the dating market in London.

Secret One: Women will bulk buy Boyfriends

Not because they’re greedy but the general non-committal nature of the dating scene in London has lead to the sudden need for multiple back-up plans. In fact I’ve never heard the terms, ‘front runner’, ‘insurance policy’, and ‘ego booster’, banded about so much. Trouble is, whilst men (oh so predictably) umm and ahh about commitment, tip toe around the subject, and go AWOL at the sight of anything long term; women are hedging their bets. Why waste time with a guy who seems into you; when bang! the second things are going too well, he disappears faster than the Road Runner. Usually taking your dignity with him… So, understandably women have evolved a response to keep them from over investing in one guy. Instead of chasing one guy they’ll cycle through several. Upsides being that if one drops the ball, there’s always someone to catch it. It also sort of prevents you scaring off the front runner by the behaviour men tend to term as ‘needy’, like you know, expecting a reply to your texts. If this sounds like a perfect plan though it isn’t; it’s just delaying the time until someone breaks ahead of the pack, but inevitably one guy always does. Then you’re in a monopoly (a bit like the Royal Mail) and you know how efficient that is…

Secret Two: Men have realised there’s a never ending supply of women

This may sound like a biological fact (there are quite a few of us in the world after all) but in London the idea of a consumerist, disposable dating economy has never been more obvious. It is entirely possible to go on three dates a day (I’ve done it, and I’m sure I’m not alone) and never run out of people. Which is music to the male psyche’s ears. If you thought your average guy was relatively afraid of commitment, my God, imagine what they’re like in a city with thousands of well heeled, smart, single ladies around them. Quite frankly you lucky guys don’t deserve it! So, from my A-level economics (bet you didn’t expect I’d studied that one) I can say that when there is an overwhelming amount of supply, the price falls, in this case of engagement rings. Why would a guy ‘settle’ if he’s constantly offered the chance to stick or twist? To be fair to the guys out there, I get it, it just doesn’t make good economical sense to commit: as the abundance in London dating will always make you feel like you could have sold yourself short.

Secret Three: Women struggle to get men to commit long term; men struggle to get women to commit short term

Just when you thought it was just the girls out there that had it tough, it’s time to acknowledge that as a woman it’s a lot easier to get to date one (though a lot tougher to get to anniversary one). On a dating website the average woman can generally put her feet up, relax and expect to get, well, asked out. Men on the other hand have to send a lot of well crafted ice breaker messages out there before they get a response: so though guys know there’s a lot of gorgeous girls out there, trying to get on a date with one that doesn’t cancel, ditch or turn up horrendously late is a struggle. Even in the bars and clubs it’s a bit of a feeding frenzy for men approaching women- and not the other way round. Guys have to do a lot of leg work to get to dates one, two and three. If they make it to date three, in quick succession, though it generally means the girl is hooked, and the guy is speeding up through her rankings. Then suddenly we’re back to the economics of points one and two.

So what equation leads to happily ever after?

Well I’d say dating in London is a numbers game, and a lot about good timing. Trying to get a guy or a girl to commit if it’s not the right time for them is a high stakes game. Your best bet? Ignore the supply of other people on the market (as competition to you, or alternatives to your date) take each day as it comes, and know that your USP can be knowing you’re heaps cooler than the competition…