How to Meet a Girl at Work
I’m going to give you examples of how you can go about picking women up in your everyday life. This month I’m going to start by giving you a few tips on how you might go about picking up a girl at work.
Have you had your eye on the cute girl at work for ages but not sure how to start speaking to her without getting slapped with a sexual harassment mandate by HR? Then I would advise that you need to go ‘indirect’ when speaking to her. This means that you start a conversation not based on anything sexual- you don’t make your intentions clear straight away. You need to do this as the environment is ‘closed’: this means that she’ll feel socially self conscious, and can’t act freely, because she knows people at work, and will want to maintain her professional reputation. Whilst she may be ok to dance until dawn in a night club over the weekend in her shortest dress, she’ll feel social pressure to behave at work.
So put thoughts of bending her over the photocopier aside for now, and instead focus on making conversation. A great way to start chatting to someone is based on an observation you see happening around you.
‘I like how you’ve co-ordinated your shoes and handbag today’ (women do this all the time, so it makes for a nice opening compliment).
‘It’s funny how our boss always arrives late on a Friday morning- I wonder what she gets up to on a Thursday night’ (share an ‘in’ joke that will help to bond you together).
‘I love how all the best biscuits always get eaten first’(comment on a situation that she will notice too. Take the thought out of her head and she will think you’re on the same wave length).
‘I’m curious as to how you always get your deadlines in on time; I think I must like to lead life on the edge as I’m always behind on my work!’ (the more specific your compliment can be to who she is as a person, instead of her physical appearance the better. Also always try to tell her a little bit about yourself, you want her to get to know you as a person too.)
After you’ve started conversation introduce yourself. Don’t panic about having the most amazing conversation straight off the bat. Just smile, maintain flirty eye contact and be ok to just make those two statements to her (one of the lines above and introducing yourself) before getting back to your work.
It would be unrealistic to have a serious deep and meaningful whilst you’re work so instead aim for a series of short, fun interactions that build up over time.
Once you’ve made your ice breaker statement you can then start chatting to her much more frequently.
Now you’ve broken the ice here are a few tips to how to progress things further:
1. Always seek to understand who she is as a person. Attraction is far more likely to be built when you know how she feels about things, rather than just what she does. So don’t just talk about work- talk about if this was the job she always imagined she’d do, what her dreams are, and who her favourite colleagues are!
2. Combine making everyone in the office laugh with witty jokes about the photocopier, with slowing things down when you speak to her. Maintain heavier eye contact, and speak more thoughtfully to her in order to non verbally signal that you’re interested in her specifically.
3. People are attracted to people who have busy and engaging lives though so don’t drop the ball at work, or loiter around in case you bump into her. Instead working on being a busy and dynamic person generally. Socialise, exercise and be an active, attractive person- the kind of person that women just want to be around.
So when do you ask her out? Here are a few great signs:
1. If she touches you (even lightly on the arm counts!)
2. If she spends ages talking to you.
3. If she initiates conversations.
4. If she tells you about how she feels about things
5. If she fidgets around you , preens herself or starts making more effort with her physical appearance
Please write in and let me know how it goes- in future articles and blogs I’ll be answering readers’ questions.
3 Comments to “How to Meet a Girl at Work”
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Kyle says:
Great advice will def give it a shot in the next comming days.
phil says:
I enjoy your articles,not every women is the same.However I am chasing one lady at work who acknowledges you with eye contact then stares into space,when she anwers a question or makes a statment.The only time she stares at me is when she makes a statment about a sexual position!.When shes cheeky with me she lets me take one of her shoe off.she says take it off gently!.I placed my mobile in front of her in true daygame style.I used a fun name calling her Hotlegs,she smiled about the name.Last week she got cramp on her thigh(true in pain)I massaged her there,inside not going too far up.We were both laughing at the situation.The problem is she has a mother who is ill in hospital,who she visits regulary.At what point does one esculate to a date during the day/weekend?.How long do I wait…….many thanks phil
Hayley Quinn says:
Hey Phil
Thanks for writing in: in short don’t wait. I’m concerned that you may be over validating her by calling her sexy nicknames and flirting with her lots- without acting on things. She’s giving you some good signs (eye contact, willing ness to talk about more sexual subjects) but leave this too long and the sexual tension in the interaction will drop so be more direct and ok to tell her, ‘it’s always good speaking to you but you’ve got to stop making me laugh at work. You’re a bad influence. Let’s link up for a drionk after work instead, I’ve got a project over there that needs finishing.’ As it’s a work situation you want to appear as casual about it as possible, ‘off the cuff’. For a more detailed analysis of this situation and how you can make sure you get it right: contact me at hq@hayley-quinn.com
Good luck
Hayley