You’ve heard it all before and it’s uncool: instead I want to tell you the single most important concept you have to work with if you want your girlfriend to experiment with a more open relationship.

As a ‘female PUA’, girlfriend and young woman I’ve done some pretty ‘open minded’ things. I’ve tried threesomes in relationships, as a guest star, on the spur of the moment… and the one thing I’ve learned is that the dynamic is always different.

What I mean by that is that different set ups (who you’re with, what your relationship is to them) feel very different and have to be instigated in a different way.

I’ll give you an example:

I have willingly orchestrated threesomes: but I’ve also given a firm ‘no’ to one going ahead.

The key for me was that I wanted to feel in control. I would never have a threesome in order to:

1. Keep my partner from straying

2. Save my relationship

3. Because I felt the only way to please my partner was to let them enjoy someone else too.

Trying to manipulate your girlfriend into a threesome under any of those grounds is bad form. If you’re that dissatsified sexually in your relationship, if you can’t face having sex with your partner. if you really, really want to hook up with someone else: come clean, or break up.

Threesomes shouldn’t come from a selfish perspective: in fact they’re about giving.

And this is the real key, the one thing to remember; if you’re instigating a threesome, and are more enthusiastic about it happening, give your uncertain partner control.

Let them:

1. Set the boundaries of how far you go the first time: if they’re only comfortable with a threeway make out to begin with, start there and then move on.

2. Have time to adjust their comfort zones: Work up to things slowly, don’t pressure them to do more than they feel comfortable with, it will take time to transition into a more open relationship.

3. Be 100% honest with them: Keep your integrity, be honest with your partner, and with yourself about your intentions. Open relationships are built on solid trust.

4. Pick the guest star: Allowing them to choose the third party is your way of saying, ‘I trust you to respect our relationship, I accept your sexuality, and you’re in control.’

5. Have total Ripcord power: If at any stage your partner isn’t 100% comfortable, even if you really, really want the threesome to go ahead your partner can call the whole thing off. This shows that you respect and want your relationship to work more than hooking up with a random third party. If you don’t think that’s fair: you need to reassess how you feel about your partner.

Bottom Line: Empower your partner, share with your partner, act as a team.

Wow! Writing this blog has made me realise that there’s no way I can tell you everything I want to about threesomes right now. If you can’t make it to one of my Seduction Seminar to get practical advice on everything from how to go in for the kiss, to how to construct an open relationship.”>Seminars then keep checking back here for more hints and tips on everything from saying ‘hello’ to hooking up.

Speak to you soon,

Hayley Q x

ps.
If you’re in London come and check out my Seduction Seminar to get practical advice on everything from how to go in for the kiss, to how to construct an open relationship.

BUT if you want an insight into what women think and feel when you approach: it is worth understanding a woman’s perspective and having as many pieces of the puzzle as possible.

So I got two of my favourite wing girls, Yilin and Alena, around earlier this year, gave them some champagne and got them to open up about what they think when a guy approaches them in a night club.

Why I chose Alena and Yilin for this video, is because as a British Western woman I CAN’T speak for all of the women out there: cultural differences count for a lot. Whilst I may laugh it off if a guy trys to grab me in a club; Yilin who has an Oriental heritage would find it deeply offensive, and Alena (who is a Russian athlete) would probably knock you out!

At ANY of my events, you will get to work with my all female team so you not only get my expert guidance: but a variety of perspectives and practice to enable you to get the best skills possible.

If you want to meet me and my team, then check out my next event

I would love to see you there.

Speak soon

Hayley Quinn

ps. read a little bit more about what me and my wing girl team teaches here

Hey Guys,

Hayley Quinn here: after my last event was a sell out I’ve been offered the chance to put on an event with more 1on1 training, unique access, oodles of added extras and practice where it counts:

On real girls (nice ones!)

My How to Seduce Women: kino, body language and seduction workshop will be held on May 26th in Central London. This time I’m keeping my seminar smaller so I can give more one on one attention to YOU. I will also be basing my whole workshop around practical exercises with women.

You will learn:

- A step by step kino method that allows you to know when is the right time to touch where
- How to engage & approach groups
- A dance floor game routine
- Practice of what the different touches you can use on the street to in the night club
- Advanced kino & a discussion on sexual technique: which is one place where a woman’s perspective is seriously useful!
-Body language exercises so you can appear more seduct

I’m chucking in some added bonuses

A practice date with one of my lovely wing girls
The chance to ask your questions to a panel of girls including a stripper
Free entry and complimentary refreshments
Join my team & for drinks as we take the time to answer your individual questions after the event

Phew!

By now I hope you can see that I try to squeeze in as much value as possible into a day, I also haggle hard with my venues and wing girls to ensure I can bring events to you at a fraction of what other training providers would give them to you for.

Seats are up for grabs at £99 a place, and I will be capping numbers as I want you guys to get plenty of 1 on 1 attention from me and my team.

If you’d like to grab one of these seats, follow the link today:

~Hayley Quinn x

p.s. If you’ve never worked with me before: I’ve got a secret for you I really care about the guys I work with and my team and I work double hard to bring events to you that are the highest quality possible but accessible to all.

Truth is I’m a sucky business woman BUT I really love what I do and believe that I can help to transform your dating life by giving you expert guidance from my years of experience working for the biggest names in the PUA world, practical exercises on real women to help you hone your skills and as much one on one attention as possible.

This is why I will always provide full references on request and a compensation guarantee: because I believe that even if we’re talking about seduction you deserve a professional service

Of course you feel frustrated when you put all that effort into approaching and the number doesn’t translate to a date: so I decided to collate years of research and writing text messages to explain how you can fix this.

You may see some of yourself in these two scenarios…

How a great number can come to a big fat zero:
You decide to go to a friend’s house party on Saturday. You see a cute girl across the room, who your friend has known since school. You hit it off by teasing her about how much punch she’s drinking: and throughout the night seem to spend most of your time locked into conversation. You get her number early on (you both support Chelsea FC!) and when you leave you think you should have kissed her.

You send her a message a few days later (you don’t want to come on too strong) and you get a response fairly quickly. Again you decide to leave it a while before responding. Soon you’re swapping texts every few days and a week passes. You’re not sure if she wants to meet up again so you procrastinate on asking her out- and kind of hope she’ll suggest something to you. Her responses become less frequent.

You panic so text more: and break the 1:1 text ratio. Lots of your texts are a little pointless and don’t have a purpose. By the time you really want to ask for the date the number is dead.

How a flakey number can end in a date:
You see a cute girl waiting to get on a bus and you force yourself to approach. She’s a little taken aback at first, but warms up after the first minute: then her bus comes. You push for a number, and after some hesitation she agrees. You send her something witty later that day, making reference to her bus journey and how random it was meeting her.

She responds with a short low investment message the next day. Later that evening you use an assumption to guess about what she’s up to & to try to build more of a connection with her. It works- this time her response is more engaged. You then switch to teasing her and she responds even faster, teasing you back.

Recognising the signs that she’s getting more into you: you are direct and state that you think coffee tomorrow after work is a great idea. She agrees…
When you choose to escalate, your ability to keep the interaction interesting, reacting successfully to her, and going in for the date at the nearest possible opportunity are all so important for getting that date…

That’s why I’ve spent ages pulling together alln my research as a female ‘pua’ trainer and dating coach to help you know WHAT TEXT MESSAGES WORK. As I undersatnd how frustrating it is when you do all of the hard work of getting a girl’s number and it doesn’t translate into the date you deserve.

I pride myself on giving you high quality and detailed advice on dating so I hope this has helped

Speak soon

Hayley Quinn

 

ps. If you want to check out my original text message collection and learn how you can write texts more effectively check this out

That’s 7 minutes of your life to solve seduction! So what are you waiting for!

So let’s talk about sex for a second. It’s a no brainer to know that how women become aroused is just different to men.

To site an old analogy: men are a switch, women are a dial. We take time to get turned on! And SO much of seduction starts in the mind.

I want to share with you more secrets to turning a woman’s dial up: from the first touch to the last date. So I’m doing a special one off seminar on all things seduction.

If you want to learn my Secrets to Seduction then check this out:

http://www.hayley-quinn.com/one-off-secrets-to-seduction-seminar-with-hayley-quinn/

This is the core of sales: people buy from people who they like, who they feel understand them and their needs.

Previously this used to be about making a good impression when you knocked on someone’s door, or served them in your shop. A little later having a great phone manner and nattering away on a sales call was the skill everyone wanted to have.
Getting people to buy your product has never been a hard sell: it’s always been a social sell.

And now, thanks to the Internet, our social sell has just got more demanding. Now we have to show our customers what our ethos is through our website, woo them with our newsletters and tell the world what we’re like as people through blogs like these!

Social networking doesn’t have to be a demand though: it can be a key to finding out what your customers are like, and what they want. It can help you to anticipate their demands and give them what they want.

You may know me as a female ‘pua’ trainer and dating coach but I’m also an active twitter user, facebooker, blogger and general social media geek I’ve had the opportunity to experiment with what makes people ‘like’ you, how to communicate with your clients and how to tap into the most powerful piece of market research you can get.

If you have a following through social media, or just through a regular stream of client phone calls/ email enquiries; you’ve already got all the tools you need to find out what your clients want and how to sell it to them. People tell us what they want through their ‘trance’ words: the words that they use when they’re really expressing themselves.

Trance words are the words that make people buy.

They are the words that your clients always mention in their email enquiries, they’re the words they mention during your sales calls; and now they’re the key words from your conversations via social media.

Let me give you two examples:
Fred calls up Human Resources Ltd and Bonnie answers. Fred doesn’t get to his point immediately: he tells Bonnie about his day, the trouble he’s had finding staff, what happened to the last person he employed… Bonnie sticks with it though and eventually gets Fred to open up. Fred explains that he really needs staff that are reliable and that have a sense of responsibility. Jotting these words down, Bonnie allows Fred to talk some more before calmly and concisely explaining that Human Resources Ltd pride themselves on having staff that are reliable and responsible. Fred quickly agrees to use Human Resources Ltd.

Rachel is skimming through her company, Cookie’s Inc, Facebook friends. She is pretty sure that there’s room in the market for a skinny double choc chip cookie for professional women in their twenties. She writes a status update about this and gets a great response. Clicking on her inbox she sees a message from Katy who is enquiring about when the cookie is going to launch. Checking out Katy’s profile page she notes down that Katy is in her mid twenties and works for a PR company in London, she likes new restaurants, yoga and music festivals. She collates this data as and when Cookie Inc’s facebook friends interact with their company’s page: and before long sees trends developing between what different customers interests are and what type of cookies they prefer. She decides that doing a product stand at Glastonbury would be a great chance to trial run the double choc chip cookie; and also contacts yoga companies about whether they’d be willing to endorse its health benefits. The skinny choc chip cookie is a huge success: and Rachel gets promoted.

Knowing what your customers want has always been key to effective sales and marketing. Now social media has opened a door for us to build on our ability to listen to what our customers really want (their trance words), make better products, sell more, and know what business ventures make sense for us to take.

To get to a place where you can use these trance words effectively; you can’t just be a great communicator, you need to be a purposeful communicator.

You need to know how to get Fred to open up, how to encourage a conversation on your social media, how to close down that opportunity to network, to create business, become more confident.

And this is where I come in. I usually only work on events in central London but to get my message a little further out I’m hosting a  fully interactive (that means some audience participation and real learning) seminar at the Five Lakes Crowne Plaza Hotel in Colchester Essex on Tuesday the 24th of April 10.30am-1.30pm.

Not only will I be hosting the event in your local area, I’ll also be offering tickets at a fraction of their normal cost: with none of the hassle of travelling into London.

So if you want to continue to improve your communication tactics, make more sales, learn negotiation tactics taught at the best Business Schools, by top NLP practitioners and have fun! Then you need to

Email me personally for an invitation to this one off event at hq@hayley-quinn.com

by Friday April 20th 2012.

Or secure your place now

Or link up with me through twitter, facebook or youtube.

;

You feel great about yourself by doing things that build your self esteem, and make you feel positive. Sometimes these self esteem boosters are external acts like making sure you feel fit, healthy and at your best.

I may be a dating coach and ‘female pick up artist’ now but I used to work as a personal trainer so in this video I want to show you how feeling fit, can also make you feel sexy & boost your self esteem, which in turn will help you to create more attraction with women.

It’s utterly win- win!

If you want your whole lifestyle made over I am happy to talk to you about specialist programmes designed just for you: incorporating personal training, styling and (of course) dating/ pua training. Just check out http://www.hayley-quinn.com/private-consultation/ or send me an email to my personal email address hq@hayley-quinn.com

The dating business is less forgiving than the final level of Battle Field 3, where at least if you make a mistake you have the safety net of being able to revert back to the last saved point and start again.

In the dating game the penalties are much more brutal and perilous, one faux pas and its game over!  The good news is there are practical things you can do to tip the scales to your favour. Here are my top 4 tips on what to do to ensure your fashion game is on point.

On date night before leaving the house always:

Plan ahead: Depending on where you are taking your date, make sure you are dressed for the occasion. I once took a girl to this heavy metal bar as I thought it would be fun. The plan was for me to finish work, get home and meet her at the bar. I was running late so ended up wearing my pin stripe suit to the rock bar. We had fun but the atmosphere was not quite right, as my date was dressed as a rocker chick and I looked like her lawyer!

Don’t overdo or underdo it: Always know the dress code and dress appropriately. I got a text in the middle of the day from a girl I was dating at the time; she was attending a conference at a hotel. Unbeknownst to me I turned up to meet her colleagues but 2 minutes in, it slowly dawned on me that I was the only one in the room who was wearing trainers jeans and an old t-shirt everyone else was in tuxedo’s! If ever I had wanted the ground to open up….

Don’t forget the grooming: Always have time for hygiene guys, I cannot stress this enough!  I have an emergency toiletry bag at work it consists of a tooth brush, toothpaste, disposable razor, mini moisturiser, some aftershave and also a lip balm. If a last minute events or business drinks comes up I am always prepared.

Relax and have fun! This is perhaps the most important factor which is going to result in you securing  a second date. Being well groomed and looking stylish is important, sure it will give you the confidence to know you are looking your best however it’s not a deal breaker. Relax, have fun, take your chances, play your cards right and who knows where it might lead.

Suds

Founder

Personal Stylist in London

If you would ever like that expert professional stylist touch, or would like to sign up to our expert tips and exclusive discount offer than get in touch with us here: www.personalstylistinlondon.co.uk

As a female pua and dating coach I can’t stress enough that looks are not the be all and end all of attraction with women. In fact women are attracted to a wide variety of factors. Personally I’ve gone out with guys who are all different shapes and sizes!

What is important though, not only for attracting women, but also for feeling good about you is to take care of your style and grooming.

Great styling can:

- Improve your confidence when approaching
- Buy you extra time and attention during your initial approach
- Create the right impression
- Tell the world about you

Because of this I’ve roped in an old friend and top Stylist Georgina (http://stylinggeorgia.wordpress.com/) to work with me.

She took out Philip for a shopping trip last Saturday and wanted to share his results (and a few key wardrobe pieces for datign success) with you:

“Phillip, a successful banker, has triumphed in the world of high finance at the young age of 26! With a flourishing career firmly under his belt, it was now time to turn attention to life outside work.

Philip’s goal was to leave the suit and tie at the office and explore a new fresh look; one that is smart enough for for dating, socialising and, of course, having dinner with his mum! He is a very confident and articulate person, which are qualities I wanted to express in his dress.

At the end of our day shopping together we agreed on a few key pieces:

> Leather tan brogues- the ultimate footwear for work and play;

> A smart fitted blazer with a polka dot lining- A blazer can smarten up any outfit, and this blazer’s polka dot lining gave it a fun, youthful edge;

> A pair of tan chinos- fantastically versatile trousers, great for summer and winter;

> A gorgeous, navy and white thin stripey jumper- again very versatile, as it can be worn under a suit jacket with suit trousers or casually with chinos or jeans.

I felt that Philip’s new look served to embrace his youth, whilst reflecting his mature confidence. Check out his before and after pictures!”

Before:

After:

We’re so confident that we can help to transform you that Philip will personally share his success story with you if you want to know just how much his change of style helped to influence his success

Email me on my personal email (hq.hayleyquinn@gmail.com) to book your session and hear more about Philip’s success.

Or if you would like a huge 50% off your first booking with Georgina, to get your style sorted for dating success, then send a payment for £25 per hour to paypal my paypal address hq.hayleyquinn@gmail.com

Despite a successful stop, great conversation and mega watt persistance from you to get her number it still doesn’t quite work.

This real life daygame approach video was kindly shared with me by Urbanist Game http://www.youtube.com/user/urbanistgame?feature=chclk who wanted to know what went wrong.

As a female pua and dating coach I am out pounding the streets of London week in week out and I get to witness (and participate in) hundreds of approaches so here’s my take on what rocked, and where things didn’t quite fly, with Urbanist Game’s Approach.

First of all I want to say what went right. If you’ve had the courage to stop that real stunner in the street – always reward yourself and recap what you did brilliantly before you analyse where you could do better.

Urbanist Game did an amazing job of:

- Being persistant: Ignoring Indicators of Disinterest, a girl telling you she’s ‘too busy’ to speak, and persisting to get the number are all important factors in keeping the interaction going. If you’ve just approached a woman in the street, sure she may not automatically be prepared to speak to you: but persistance (often) beats resistance.There are better and worse ways to handle this though, which I’ll be coming to later.

- Good use of assumptions: The interaction begins with quite a few questions; however UG soon relaxes into making assumptions, ‘you seem like a London girl’. Notice how much more an effective way this is of steering, and keeping, the conversation going.

- ‘Calling out’ her non-verbal signals: UG does a great job of reacting in the moment and being present. When the woman he’s speaking to wants to cross the street he teases her that they’ll ‘be another green man’. By verbalising what her concerns are he leads the interaction and helps her to relax.

So why didn’t it work?

I think the main issue with this approach (and this advanced level stuff!) was that UG over validated the woman in spite of her being at times resistance to him: and let her control the frame of the interaction too much.

Wow what does all that technical stuff mean?

Well you may notice at several points that the woman refuses to play ball and actually challenges UG to win her around:

‘you’ll never guess’

‘nice try’

By saying statements like these the woman is making the whole interaction a game that she is control of. She is saying ‘I’m the prize, good luck winning it’.

She is also a very sharp, analytical and serious woman by disposition.

To deal with this effective UG needs to communicate with her ‘in her language’ i.e. speak to her in a style in which she uses on him and to take control of the frame (the power balance in the interaction) again by verbalising her signals of resistance more effectively.

By UG ‘over validating’ the woman by being overly nice and empathetic too her by:

- enthusing about her life in London

- greeting her acerbic response with a too friendly, comedic style

UG appears to be talking at crossed purposes with her: he doesn’t communicate to her in a language she understands.

As she’s a serious ‘city worker’ using a sociolect (that’s words and language) that is more analytical, direct and factual will help to communicate with her more effectively.

Combining this with verbalising her resistance:

‘I hate those guessing games’

‘You’re very skeptical of people approaching you in the street, aren’t you?’

‘It’s your prerogative who you give your number out to, but i’d recommend not just saving it for guys in bars, because I’m convinced there’s more to you than your sharp shooting business woman facade’

And also not using a line at the beginning that sounds too ‘gamey’ and slightly insincere ‘walking straight by me without saying hi to me’ may just have made the difference…

If you want your daygame, unplugged, analysed and improved to crack even the toughest cases then check out http://www.hayley-quinn.com/hayley-in-action-day/